The Center of a Constellation
by timelesshearts
Summary: Being the new girl is never easy, especially when she is being plagued by panic attacks and images of her dead parents. All Lydia wants to do is keep to herself and finish high school without any problems. Seems likes she's not going to get either of those wishes with Stiles Stilinski involved, tearing down her walls and making her laugh no matter how hard she pushes him away.
1. Dream Theater

**This is my first attempt at Teen Wolf Fanfiction so I hope that you all enjoy it.**

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_There's blood. Everywhere. _

_ It stains the marble countertops and the hardwood floors; it's spattered across the cream walls and the refrigerator doors. Those responsible are long gone but I'm still frozen, hidden away by the pantry door and willing myself to wake up from this awful dream. _

_ The realization comes faster._

_ I stumble out of the pantry and fall to the floor, limp but not as motionless as the other two bodies lying there. My hands search across the first body then the second for a pulse, an indication, _anything_ that will give me some semblance of hope._

_ But there is none. _

_ Nothing but blood; covering my hands, staining my clothes, weighing down my hair. _

_ And I can't breath._

My eyes flash open only to be met with my own reflection. Pale, lifeless, terrified. It's strange to see the underlying truth rather than what is directly in front of my eyes. My hand moves forward to steady my body against the mirror and I try to even out my erratic breathing patterns. One. Two. Three. My red hair makes its appearance. Four. Five. Six. Green eyes focus into place. Seven. Eight. Nine. Slender hands stop shaking and pull away from the glass. Oxygen floods into my lungs and I no longer feel as if they are going to collapse. Ten. I sigh. Damn it. There's nothing like starting the first day at a new high school with a near panic attack. At least I was becoming more successful in stopping them before they became full blown and _gee_, it had only taken all of six weeks.

I check the time on the clock next to my bed. 6:00 am. I still had an hour and a half until my first official day at Beacon Hills High. I had successfully convinced my aunt to give me sometime to get used to the new town before I had to start back but at school. It had been a month and a half since I'd arrived in Beacon Hills and I hadn't so much as seen anything but the forest and hiking trails on which I took my runs every morning. Obviously Addie was no longer buying my excuse for a need to immerse myself in the surroundings and took it into her own hands to register me at the high school and drop the bomb on me as I made my way upstairs for bed last night.

I figured since I had enough time I might as well make myself look presentable. Makeup under my eyes to hide the fact that that I got little more than four hours of sleep the night before…and the night before that…and the one before that. A light sweater and a skirt because due to the previous climate I was living in sweaters and cardigans were pretty much all I owned. Something that did nothing for me now that I was living under the Californian sun. Aunt Addie had offered to take me shopping numerous times but I politely declined every time. I was enough of a burden as it was, but summer will be here in just a few months and I may have to take her up on her offer. I glance back at the clock again. 6:12 am. Today was going to be a long day.

Ten minutes to seven I trudge my way grumpily into the kitchen where Addie is leaning against the counter, reading the newspaper and drinking from a mug. She smiles up at me as I enter. "Good morning. You're hair looks great."

That's because I spent a half a fucking hour brushing and twisting it around into different styles before finally just leaving it down. "Good isn't the adjective I'd use to describe the day."

I set my bag onto the barstool before making my way to the coffeepot. There was no way I was getting through this day without a little caffeine in my system. Addie rolls her eyes and returns them to her newspaper. "Come on, kid. You can't stay home forever."

"I know that but I don't see why I couldn't at least wait until Monday."

"Because I'm tired of seeing your face," she shoots back playfully and it's my time to roll my eyes.

This is how we had always been, playful and teasing. We were always close considering she was only seven years my prior and happened to be the coolest aunt in the world. Our relationship had always been more of a friendship, hell she was basically my sister more than anything, but now it was different. Now my parents were dead. She wasn't just my cool aunt Addie anymore but my guardian. There had been no one else who would take me, so my seventeen-year-old ass had been signed over to my twenty four year old aunt. Other than the strain of death not much had changed between us but it was like waiting for a ticking time bomb. Eventually the parenting was going to come in harder than making me attend high school and I cant help but be worried about how its going to change our dynamic. I was stubborn as hell when I wanted to be and Addie can certainly hold her own. "Whatever. And for the record I'm not _always_ home. I go running everyday."

"You know what I mean. It's the middle of your senior year of high school and I can't let you put it off forever." She face turns down somberly and slowly she folds her newspaper. A nervous twitch, I note, something for her to do with her hands. "Besides, you're father would never forgive me if I let you drop out of high school."

I pause, creamer in hand, and turn my back on her because I can't handle the guilt I feel or the guilt sitting just behind her hazel eyes. It kills me that she thinks she's failing in someway and that's because of me. Sometime I forget that I wasn't the only one here would had lost something important to them. My father and Addie had grown up close as my grandparents were hardly ever home and he became a father to her in a way. We got into trouble together for some stupid shit and we both got the same lectures, but at the end of the day we both benefited from my parents love. "I know," I answer softly, because she's right. If there was one thing my father had instilled in me, it was that high school and eventually college were necessities to life. Seeing as he had made his into something rather respectable, I had always taken his advice into consideration.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Her voice wavers over the words. It's the second time she's asked since she'd come to get me after the incident. The first had been the same night; we laid together on a hotel bed because I couldn't bare to be in the vicinity of my own house. Then, the question had been rhetorical and instead of answering I let her hold me while I cried. The last time I had let myself cry. She had given me time, space, and effort. Just little things like picking up my favorite ice cream from the grocery store or keeping the ibuprofen stocked when I had near constant headaches for three weeks. She's doing so much for me and I realize that I've barely even made an effort for her. "Never mind. We don't have to." She tells me quickly and I wonder if it's because she can see how ridged my body becomes. I take the out like the coward I am, gulping down about half my coffee and ignoring the searing pain as it trails down my throat. "But one day we will have to talk about it because I can't keep it bottled up and I know that you can't either. The weight will crush you, hell, it already is." I don't say anything and keep my eyes trained on the countertop willing myself not to lash out to cover how shattered I feel. "You haven't been sleeping. Sometimes I wake up at night and can hear you pacing or tossing and turning in bed. I even hear you leave for your runs at three in the morning, which its totally unsafe by the way." I can sense her gaze burning into my back, making my skin craw uncomfortably.

"That's the time I like to go running," I bite back defensively, not bothering to share that it happens to be only a few hours after I fall asleep.

She sighs like she already knows that and her small hand curves lightly over my shoulder. "You're forgetting that I lived with you up until the last two years and it was almost impossible to drag you out of bed before seven o'clock. You can build up walls, you can even lie to me about it, but it doesn't change the fact that I can see right through it."

"Addie-" I choke out desperately because I can't talk about this now. Not when I have to sit through hour's worth of lectures that most likely wont tell me anything I don't already know. Not when I'm seconds from lung contractions I can't control. Not when I'll try to push her out of my life with a simple string of words. I don't need to lose another person, but I'm not ready for this conversation and a signaling squeeze of my heart is a painful reminder.

"Besides, I'm a nurse. I could spot sleep deprivation from a mile away." She continues then pauses. "Are you still having panic attacks?"

"No." But I answer too fast to make it believable and she notices.

Instead of calling me out on it, she simply nods and steps away, giving me a silent breath of relief along with another out. "Are you ready? I don't want you to be late."

I nod, swallowing the sour taste that has entered my mouth.

"I have a container that you can pour that into if you want to take it with you." She motions to the coffee mug in my hand.

I quickly down the rest of my drink and place it in the dishwasher. "No need, let's go." I grab my bag and practically run outside to her car. Suddenly anxious to spend my time anywhere that I don't have to talk about my problems before I send myself into another panic attack within the span of two hours. Now I only needed to survive the next ten minutes that will hopefully be silent or filled with nothing more than small talk.

Addie follows behind, locking the front door on the way. "Are you hungry? Should I stop somewhere on the way?"

I give a shake my head as she reverses from the parking lot. There is no way in hell I'm willingly roping myself into more time in this car.

"So I talked to the lawyer and your money from the will is suppose to be transferred by this weekend," she says after a few minutes of silence. "I was thinking that we could get you a car since you got your license yesterday."

I shift uncomfortably. Addie and her need to always buy me things. "You don't have to do that. I don't really need a car right now."

"Actually," she replied sheepishly, "I'm starting back to more double shifts at the hospital soon and it will be easier if you have a car to get around."

"I can walk."

"Seriously, it will just make me feel better, okay?" she insisted. "Besides if you're worried about money it not technically mine. Only a small portion will be used and the rest will be put into a savings account, enough for you to make it through eight years of college no problem."

I let myself agree because a car is going to cause those worry lines in her forehead to decrease slightly and I don't want to annoy her anymore than I have been. It was my turn to make some sort of effort. "Sure, this weekend sounds good. And maybe we can go shopping so that I can get some clothes more suitable for the warm weather?"

She perks up immediately and that smile that I'm so used to fall into place on her face. "Really? Yes, of course!"

Her excitement instantly makes me feel better, that is until I realize we are pulling up into the parking lot of Beacon Hills High School. Just perfect. "Are you sure you want to walk home? I can take my break when school is over to pick you up."

I shake my head and she puts the car in park. "No, really I like walking. Give's me time to listen to my music." Not that there was hardly anytime that I didn't have one of the buds shoved into my ears. "Thanks for bringing me."

"No problem." I push open the door but she stops me. "And Lydia? Try to have a good day, alright?"

"Sure," I lie because I don't want to be the reason the smile she's wearing falls from her face. There was nothing good about being the new kid in a school so different from the previous ones. "See you tonight. Love you Addie."

"Love you too, babe."

I take a deep breath and push myself out of the car to join the throng of students that are spilling out of their own cars. People are chatting wildly and there are even some couples making out on the benches out front. Some things never change I guess. Hiking my bag over my shoulder, I start forward. Here goes nothing. Bring on the Neanderthal douchebags and boring as hell lectures.


	2. We Are Gonna Be Friends

**Thank you every for reading everyone! I'm currently in the process of writing a novel so writing like this and getting feedback certainly help to improve my writing stop writers block. I also wanted to mention that the story is somewhat of a slow burn so that I can focus on plot. The chapter will also get longer once I get through introductions in the story and finish finals week. **

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**Chapter Two**

**LYDIA**

I was lost. I'd only been in this school a total of five minutes and I already had no fucking clue where I was or how to find my first class. Retrieving my schedule had been a breeze. Finding my locker had been equally easy. The second I turned the corner though, I was done for. There were kids everywhere, as Beacon Hills High was about four times as big as my old private school, but my pride was getting in the way of actually asking for help. Seriously who didn't attach a map to the freaking schedule with a school this large? Not all of us were used to the hugeness of public American school systems. I was ready to throw my schedule on the floor and just say fuck it before ditching.

"Hey!"

I practically jumped out of my skin and quickly sealed my mouth shut to avoid the scream that I wanted to release at the sudden appearance of a girl. However my notebook and the papers I received from the office fell to the floor and I scurried to pick them up before I made a bigger fool of myself. I could feel the heat spreading through my cheeks in anger. Who the hell just screams like that to people they don't know?

The girl quickly gets down to help me retrieve my papers. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I didn't mean to scare you." We both get make to our feet and I can already feel the stares washing over me. I'm about ready to yell at this girl for making me feel so embarrassed, but stop at the sight of her guilty smile and apologetic brown eyes. She hands over my papers. "You look kind of lost. Are you new? I don't think I've ever seen you around here before."

"No, I just…" I'm ready to lie and bolt but I don't know where my first class is and I think Addie would probably chain me to a desk in the school if she found out that I skipped my first day back. "I mean yes, yes I'm new. I'm also incredibly lost. This school is gigantic compared to my last one." It all comes out in one breath and I cringe. Social anxiety is normal after not talking to anyone but your aunt for the last two months, I remind myself.

She laughs and I'm reminded of exactly how long it's been since I gave a sound that genuinely happy. "I'll be able to help. Do you mind if I see your schedule?"

I pull it out of the stack and hand it over. Her eyes scan the paper an her nose scrunches up when she reaches the bottom. "Huh."

"What?"

"Oh, it's just your free period at the end of the day is with Ms. Morrell."

As if that meant anything to me. "Is-is she like a terrible teacher or something?"

She looks up at me and I see something I was hoping to avoid today. Sympathy. The girl tucks a dark lock of hair behind her ear and her eyes trail over the paper once more. "No…she's, um, she's not a teacher. She's the grief counselor."

"Hmm, must be a mistake." But I'm well aware that its not. Addie had been hinting at a therapist for weeks and I guess this was how she was going to solve my insistence that I didn't need therapy. I didn't want to talk to a stranger about problems that didn't involve them. I didn't want to talk about them at all because I didn't need someone to pick at my brain. I needed my parents.

She shrugs believing me while her smile moves back into place. "Well we have three classes together, including homeroom. Come on, we can walk together."

She starts forward and I fall into step by her side. "Thank you. I'm Lydia." Introducing myself is the least I could do for someone willing to help me find my way.

"Allison." My eyes fall over her slender face. Great complexion, long lashes, and red lips curved upward. Did she always look this happy? "So your from England?"

I nod, slightly surprised. Most people usually assume that I'm from Australia. "Do you get a lot of Brits here?"

She laughs. "No, not at all."

"Most people think I'm Australian or I'm faking the accent, so I'm just a little surprised," I explain.

"My father is actually an international arms dealer and my family is from France. I've spent almost all of my summers there and I've taken a few train rides into England." This girl was full of surprises.

"I'm from Brighmour. It's a small town a little out of Nottingham. We get a lot of tourists because we have a quaint town with so many historical aspects."

"Do you miss it?"

I nod truthfully. This was my first time being in America for such an extended amount of time and that was somewhat unnerving. "Yeah. There was this little pink and purple shop on the edge of town that I used to go to every morning for danishes. Actually they had the best-"

"Macaroons!" she finishes excitedly and I nearly drop my jaw to the floor in shock. She smiles brightly up at me. "You know, Lydia? I think we are going to be fast friends." Her happiness is infectious and I can no longer hold back a grin, however small it may be. Looks like today wasn't going to be so bad. Not even to homeroom yet and I was always making a friend. Addie would be so proud.

I don't think I could have found a better person to run into. Allison was nothing like the American teenagers that I had imagined. I'd met a few over the years but none of them were like Allison and I figured it was because she had such worldly experience.

Homeroom was nothing more than a shortened free period. Allison told me about the places she had traveled with her family while she drew me a makeshift map of the school. I'd traveled all over Europe and so had she; we even stayed at the same hotel in Greece two summers ago. It sure is a small world. The girl was an enigma and if I did decide to make a friend in the time that I'll be in Beacon Hills, I'm hoping it will be Allison Argent.

Having human anatomy as my first real class of the day was a mood killer, especially considering that I would have to write a paper on genetic modification if I wanted a chance to even pass the class since I'd missed so much course work. I made shooting motions toward Allison from across the room.

Next came political studies where I listened to the teacher drone on and on about how America's court system changed the country. Now that I was a citizen I should probably have paid closer attention but I couldn't bring myself to care; certainly not when I received a fifteen-page packet of homework.

I met up with Allison again for English and was relieved to find that my only assignment was to catch up on the reading and worksheets for The Great Gatsby. Luckily I was an avid reader and The Great Gatsby was one of my favorite novels. I had read it so many times I could probably recite it in my sleep. The two worksheets would take me no time at all.

I thought by the time lunch rolled around I would be grateful for the break from classes but I had a new problem to be anxious about. Allison was such an amazing character that I should have guessed that people would flock to the table the moment we sat down. Her friends were not only eager to introduce themselves to me but to learn about when and why I moved here. I knew they wouldn't stop until they got their answers because its not everyday that a girl from England shows up in their midst, so I stayed on the lines of truth but kept the information about my dead parents to myself. I wouldn't be able to make it through lunch with so many pairs of eyes filled with pity were all trained on me.

Finally, conversation shifted from me to the latest gossip circulating through the school. I let myself tune out, shoving a headphone into one of my ears and letting the music play at medium volume, because who ever they were talking about didn't involve me. My food just got pushed around on my plate. I hadn't had much of an appetite lately and cafeteria food certainly wasn't changing that.

My eyes ran over the group and even though I felt as if I was encroaching on their territory, at least I wasn't spending my lunch hour locked in a bathroom stall. Even back in England I'd had trouble making friends, or real ones for that matter. My father and his business were well know and those that tried to get close to me usually saw an opportunity at immediate popularity or access to my outdoor pool. I never let it bother me too much because even though Addie was older she always tried to include me. This was enough most of the time but all the money in the world couldn't replace the way it feels to have a best friend, someone to share every aspect of your life without any judgments.

The music flows into my ears but I don't hear the words as my eyes trail across the other six people sitting at the table.

Allison: so sweet, so bubbly, such a strong personality. She so obviously cares about the others. I see it in the way that she makes the effort to ask how Cora's puppy is fairing after surgery or how she wonders if Kira needs help putting up student council flyers after school or when she wordless slides an extra cookie in Issac's direction because he looks down. She is a true friend and I can't be more thankful that she offered her help when she so easily could have sent me on my way with nothing more than a "welcome to our school, good luck".

Kira: the girl talked a mile a minute but her tone was so passionate that I didn't mind it so much. I learned that she is student council president and spends a lot of her time improving the lives of students, heading dance commitees, and showing her support of various sports teams. She was the complete opposite of me. She's one of the good ones.

Isaac: he was the quite one and quite blatantly felt the most comfortable around Allison. The few words I had heard him say had been directed to her but he kept his attention trained on those who were talking so it was obvious he was interested in what they were saying. I couldn't figure out much about him but I did notice that he and Allison couldn't stop from glancing at each other every few seconds.

Cora: the only thing that came to mind was forceful. She was assertive, said exactly what was on her mind, and made strong arguments. It was strange considering the other personalities that are at the table, but she fit nicely into the dynamic. She reminded me so much of my mother and therefore there was no way that I couldn't not like her.

Danny: he was one hundred percent _that_ guy. The one that no matter how much you tried, you couldn't not like him. He was smart, charming, and athletic. He was exactly the type of guy I used to date, other than the fact that her was downright homosexual.

Ethan: the boy only had eyes for Danny. He joined in the conversation when it involved him but the rest of the time he kept his baby blues trained lovingly on his boyfriend. They might be the cutest couple I've seen in a long time.

These people didn't know me. They didn't know how I grew up or the kind of connections I had obtained. If they liked me, it was purely because they liked who I was. It hit me that it's exactly what I wanted. I wanted them to like me because I liked them. For the first time in my life I wanted to be one of those girls who spent every weekend surrounded but a group of interesting people. So instead of voicing my opinions aloud, I simply remove my headphones and try to give small comments where I'm able to.

"Where are Scott and Stiles?" Kira asks as everyone is throwing away their leftover food and putting up their trays.

"Practicing," Isaac supplies.

"Coach has been really riding us hard," Danny fills in when he sees her confused expression. "He mentioned co-captains the other day so naturally Stiles is hell bent on keeping that from happening. And if he can't he going to make sure that Scott is his second hand."

"Co-captains? Like rugby?" I ask because it seems like the wrong season.

Cora snorts and then laughs. "I think you mean football?"

"And no," Kira throws her attention to me. "The sport around here is lacrosse."

"Oh."

"You have no idea what that is do you?" Ethan asks with a teasing grin.

I just shrug. I was never one for sports, no matter the country I'm in.

"You should come to the game on Friday night," Kira exclaims excitedly and Allison nods in agreement. "It's the first of the season and we'll all be there. Danny, Ethan, and Issac are all on the team so they'll be playing but you can sit with us."

I hesitate. Not because I don't want to go but because their amiability is so unexpected. "Sure, I'll go." I smile as everyone starts chatting when the bell rings and we leave for class, but it doesn't last long. Because there is a little voice in the back of my mind telling me this wont last long. That I don't deserve the luxury of friends. That they are going to leave the moment they find out why I really moved to Beacon Hills. When they find out that I'm a murderer.


	3. Just A Name

**Chapter Three**

**STILES**

I can't stop staring at her but I've never seen her before. Normally I would have kicked someone out of _my_ seat, especially after getting chewed out by coach for being late. Even though that reason involved gaining a win for him in the first game of the season. I was ready to shout out all the stress I'd been holding in over the last the last couple of weeks but she was obviously new. Head kept down, sitting in the back of the class in an effort to stay undetected, not to mention her nose was buried so deep in her textbook I was beginning to wonder if she even had one. Nobody in econ ever cracked open their textbook.

My eyes trail over her form and I blame it on the serious case of blue balls that Malia has given me for the past couple of days. Biker boots that most girls in this school wouldn't be caught dead wearing, a short skirt and a sweater even though its about seventy degrees outside, and hair so strikingly red that there is no possible way for it to be her natural color. She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and mindlessly bobs her head to the music that must be flowing through the headphones stuck in her ears. I can't help but grin because I don't think I've ever seen someone so deeply lost in thought and concentration at the same time.

Before I even realize what I'm doing my fingers reach out to tap her on the shoulders. She jerks startled and sends a glare in my direction. I immediately regret my decision at the sight of her emerald eyes. Her hand flies to pull one of the headphones from her ears and I'm taken aback by how angry she looks. The words beautifully terrifying come to mind but I ignore them.

"Can I help you?"

The accent had to be the last thing I expected. "No, um, yes. I mean- I was just wondering what you were listening to," I offer because I have no idea what I was going to say. I should have kept my mouth shut because now all I really wanted to do was bash my lacrosse stick into my head. Since when the fuck do I get tongue-tied? Since when do I even get curious about a girl that happens to not be my girlfriend.

She levels me with a curiously annoyed that could send an entire group of people running in the other direction and that's exactly what I feel like doing. Seriously, what the hell is her problem? "Arctic Monkeys. Ever heard of them?" I shake my head. "I didn't think so."

"Well, your new right?" I try again. "What's your name?"

But she doesn't answer. Instead she turns back to her textbook puts her headphones back in, turning up the music so that I can hear the beats drumming through them. She's feisty and even though I'm not used to the receiving end of a cold shoulder I cant help the grin that reaches my face. Because I'm intrigued and I'm a guy that loves a challenge. Everyone likes me and maybe my pride might be a little hurt but I could get her to come around. It was only a matter of time but I had to know. Who was this girl?

* * *

"What do you know about the new girl?" I ask Scott as we jog our final lap around the empty lacrosse field. Thank God I wasn't the only one who obtained extra laps for being late to class or today would have been nearly unbearable.

"Redhead, British accent, one hell of a attitude?"

I smirk. "That's the one."

He shrugs. "I don't know anything about her. Why? Are you interested?"

I scoff to cover up the fact that I had in fact spent the entire period of economics staring at the girl. Not to mention he would jump at the chance to convince me that my life would be better off without my current girl. "I'm with Malia."

Scott rolls his eyes at my obvious use of my girlfriend as a diversion. He knows my so well and I'm sure the conversation will come up again by the end of the week. "Well, I don't know anything about her other than the obvious. If you want to know more about her, Allison would be the one to talk to."

"Allison?"

"Yeah, I guess she is showing her around. Kira said that she sat with them at lunch today."

"And?" I prompted. Someone had to know something more about this girl.

Scott smiles at me knowingly as we slow to a halt. "Dude, seriously. She hot, its okay to be interested but I honestly know nothing about her other than the fact that she just moved here and she's quiet."

I roll my eyes. "I don't care that she's are plenty of hot girls in Beacon Hills. She's different from everyone here and that makes her interesting. Other than that she's just some girl with a serious case of cold shoulders." Even as it came out of my mouth it seemed like a cop out, but I wasn't taking it back

Scott laughs, patting me on the shoulder. "Whatever you say, dude. Oh, and that _some girl_ happens to be named Lydia."

Lydia. I had a name. I could work with a name.


End file.
